Putting a Face on 3,000,000 People

The One Man March

There was a surprising headline ( and subsequent story) in the St. Paul Pioneer Press today: State Could Go to Bush in '04. The second paragraph of the story reads as follows: A new analysis by a prominent political scientist suggests that of all the states that voted for Al Gore in 2000, Minnesota is the most likely to go for Bush next year.

Fair enough. Whether or not one group's analysis (no matter how prominent) for an election that is more than a year away deserves to be on the front page deserves a blog of its own. But I will say two things:

1. This story's headline was above-the-fold and above the story President Keeps Lid on Parts of 9/11 Study. This second story was below-the-fold. The Pioneer-Press endorsed Bush in 2000. Connect those dots however you want to. In all fairness the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (which endorsed Gore in 2000) ran this story 4th from the top on its webpage (the Pioneer-Press ran it 3rd from the top). I did not see a copy of today's Star-Tribune, so I don't where the story was layout-wise.

2. The fact that this story is above-the-fold news speaks volumes about the way journalists gets sucked into covering national current events as a political horse race.

Okay, moving on. Today two parts of Bush's economic team (Treasury Secretary John Snow and Commerce Secretary Don Evans) were in town to pump up the "economic stimulus program" they are so proud of. It has received the appropriate amount of play from the news outlets here. But what hasn't received any coverage is John and his website JobforJohn.com. It's a great site. John just lost his job and is now following Snow and Evans on their tour of the Midwest, trying to talk to them and show anybody who is paying attention the reality of the economy.

Image from JobforJohn.com

It's too bad this guy isn't getting more press. I would have e-mailed his story to MPR and all the local TV and newspaper outlets, but I didn't find out about his site until today. In fact, I found it posted on another web forum. Mark Fiore, who has some of the best animated cartoons on the web also has an outstanding web forum, which posted JobforJohn.com.

Anyway, check-out JobforJohn.com. You'll be glad you did. I hope the guy gets a job. But in the meantime, he's doing a great job putting a face on the Bush tax cuts and economy. Too bad so few people are seeing it. The exchange he has with Snow at the end is particularly well-written; so read all the way to the end!

It's Not Trash and It's Not Art

I love, and am becoming obsessed with what the homepage for Found Magazine has to offer. Go check it out!

I don't know if we're all guilty of this, but I have always been fascinated by anonymous scraps of paper (notes and drawings) and photos I come across in my daily life. I regularly scan the ATM statements that lie cluttered around the machine, from the people that used the ATM before I did. I know, they're just slips of the paper and I'll never see the lives or people attached to these account balances. But I'm always a little giddy when a read an account balance of $8,803.34 (why would anyone have that much money in their checking account?) or when I find one that says $1.54 (I know how that feels).

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It feels like striking gold when I come across a grocery list or to-do list left behind on the bus, parking lot, or street. In college a group of us even found a love letter in the parking lot of the grocery store! Once some pictures of some guys hanging out on their porch, drinking Coors, fell out of a book I was pricing when I worked at a used college text book store.

And now there is a magazine solely devoted to this pursuit! It's funny: at work, when I'm cleaning up the waiting room at the end of the day, I'll come across all sorts of to-do and grocery lists left behind by families. But that's just garbage as far as I'm concerned. I know the author of the list and that somehow removes the magic of the find. There's no gold in the mundane details of the lives of people we know (although the spicier dirt is always interesting).

The fun part in boring to slightly odd details is when there is no context or person behind these facts. Then your imagination gets to build your own person and history behind the list. It's fun to imagine all the different possibilities why someone went to the grocery store to buy "Soft Batch cookies, toy soldiers, razors, and three gallons of ketchup" (I made that list up, by the way).

Anyway, take a look at Found Magazine. It can be guiltlessly addictive, I think, because each found item is a short story in and of itself just waiting to be written (by a more creative and skilled writer than I am). I think it's a great concept. You can even send them your own finds.

By the way, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune (Strib) ran a story about Found Magazune today. The problem is to access their stories, you have to register your e-mail and pertinent information with them. What a pain! If you still want to jump through the Strib's on-line hoops (or already have), click here to access the story.

Red Storm Rising

Today at work my 10 a.m. appointment hadn't arrived on time. The kid I was waiting for is named John, and is mildly obsessed with what I eat for breakfast. So I took advantage of the extra five minutes by filling my water bottle up at the water fountain.

As I'm filling up I hear John and his family coming up the stairs, which are right behind the water fountain. So I turn around to tell say hi to John, his sisters, and babysitter, when all of a sudden his oldest sister decides now is as good a time as any to start throwing up massively. I don't know why it didn't occur to her (or all the other eight year olds in the world) to maybe plan ahead and try to barf outside, ten seconds before she came in. She had to know she wasn't feeling to well. But she risked it, I guess, and hoped the sickness would pass.

She gambled and lost.

I don't know if John is as obsessed with what his sister eats for breakfast as he is with my dining habits. But it's safe to say he didn't have to ask her what she ate for breakfast today. He got to see for himself.

Raspberries. Bright red raspberries. And now there was bright red raspberry vomit all over the steps, walls, and first floor of our office building. Again, and I cannot emphasize this enough: a little foresight from Barfing Sister would have made a lot of people's life a lot easier. So while John and I played Go Fish in my office for half an hour, his babysitter had to mop up raspberry puke. I never knew I'd view playing Go Fish for 23904238th time in my life as a godsend.

Anyway, as Raspberry Shortcake was unloading her breakfast, I really could only think, "Damn that's a lot of red." Beyond the splotches of red, I couldn't process much else. We're talking buckets of red, here, enough to overflow a washing machine.



Many summers ago I went to a Red Sox game and sat in the Fenway bleachers. Beers were enjoyed, so I made my requisite trip to the bathroom in the 6th inning. As I was minding my own business, despite peeing with 30 other crazed Red Sox fans, my peeing neighbor decided to welcome me to the urinal neighborhood. He slapped me on the back and said, "Shiiiiiiiit! How is it that 32 ounces of beer can always make 32 gallons of piss?" When I suggested that perhaps he, like me, had just a bit more than 32 ounces of beer to drink, he said something like "Fuckin' A you got that right!" and put his hand up for a high five, mid-urination. So I took him up on his high-five offer, and felt pretty embrassed afterwards. But you know what alchohol does to people's high five inhibitions; I guess I'm kind of a high-five whore that way.

But I digress. My point is I am reminded of that exchange when I think of this morning's events. How can 32 raspberries lead to a laundry-load of barf?

Da Bears

As I mentioned in the previous post, one of the greatest parts of our honeymoon was the trip to Sand Island. What I didn't mention is that one of the other Apostle Islands we were considering visiting was deemed off-limits due to an infestation of those pesky black bears.

I just assumed that these bears got to these islands by walking across the lake when it was frozen. But it turns out that black bears are really good swimmers.

It just so happens that awhile back a friend of mine (who prefers to remain anonymous, but let's just say we have a first and middle name in common) also visited Bayfield and the Apostle Islands. He also figured that the bears walked across the ice to get the islands. When my friend ("Mike D") asked the park ranger if this was indeed the case, she looked at him like he was an idiot. She treated him like he had just asked her the dumbest question ever. Well, better him than me, because I would have asked the same question!

So the challenege for all you Encyclopedia Browns out there is this: why is "Mike D's" question so ludicrous and the waste of a park ranger's time?

And in the meantime, how about those swimming bears!

Back to the Real World

and all of its humidity. Emily and I had a great time on Madeline Island, for four nights, and then in Bayfield for two.


While on Madeline Island we were in a sort of news and time vaccuum, which was great. We stayed in a private lodge (pictured below) at the Woods Manor, complete with a deck, a porch, and a bear skin on the wall.

Oh yeah, and we also had our own personal hot tub. The cool thing about the hot tub is it was supplied with well water (which happened to smell like sulphur) and the hot water heater in our cabin was good for maybe five minutes of hot water. So after filling up the tub for the requisite twenty minutes, we were left with a tub full of ice cold water that smelled like rotten eggs. Real fucking romatic. Needless to say, save for the five seconds when I dipped my foot in the water and said, "This sucks," the hot tub did not get any use.

But we did have a great time at the Woods Manor and on Madeline Island. I read three books, played a lot of tennis, and of course explored the area. Time really stands still there. Everyone rides bikes or walks everywhere and there isn't even the scent of newsprint, let alone a TV on the island.

But the highlight for me was when we took a boat to Sand Island. The shoreline was beautiful and the lighthouse and all of its history was all an added bonus.




Our honeymoon is also very historic in that it is likely the first honeymoon where the newlyweds slept in separate beds. For the last two nights, while we were in Bayfield (we stayed at The Bayfield Inn), we had a room with two double beds. Seeing as how Emily and I aren't exactly midgets, we knew we wouldn't be comforatable enough to sleep in the same bed. Also, cable TV is a novelty to us, and we hadn't seen or heard any news in days, so I was glued to CNN and SportsCenter (Emily preferred the shows Trading Spaces and some make-over show).

So there we were, on our honeymoon, self-sequestered in separate beds watching the news. It was pretty funny, but I don't know how romantic it was. I consider it practice for when we're a couple of blue hairs. Even so, we loved the Bayfield Inn, with its deck restaurant and views of Lake Superior. And we also liked that we didn't smell like sulphur after taking a shower.


Anyway, this is a sort-of overview of our trip. I'll add more details as time goes on. Now I'm off to help clean up the mess we left behind in the wake of the wedding and all of its awesome gifts. It looks like a tornado of Crate and Barrel boxes hit our house while we were gone. There's certainly worse problems to have.

Gone Fishin'

Wow. I cannot tell you how happy I am right now! Emily and I had a great time at our wedding and can only hope others did as well. So many things went on behind the scenes and there so many people to thanks, starting with our families.

So now our blogs will be taking a week off as Emily and I head for our two-stage honeymoon (we'll be on an island in Lake Superior for a four days and at the cottage for the rest).

I cannot tell you how great it is to be Mike right now. I hope everyone who was a part of our wedding was happy. And if I could change anything out of my control it would be that guys like Zandypants, Julie, Matt the Hatt, and his new wife could have been there. We'll have to send you guys pictures.

MIKE AND EM 4ever!!!!!!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!

I Am Getting Fucking Married

I really wish I had something profound to say, since in a few days I will be married to (duh) Emily. I'm obviously wicked excited and can't wait to be officially spending the rest of my life with her.

For me, this is as close as I'll come to walking in the moon. How am I supposed to capture all of my excitement and thoughts, and the work and planning we (mostly Emily) have done in one blog. All I can say is

Ohmyfuckinggod how cool is this?!?!?!?!

It's all so overwhelming, in a great way, especially with all the family and friends coming in to visit.





All I can think of is the headline from The Onion's Our Dumb Century, for when man first walked on the moon. Click here to see the full page. And then imagine me in a tuxedo in front of Emily, instead of Neil Armstrong on the moon. And then replace the word "on the moon" with "marrying Emily," and that's exactly how I feel.

Holymotheroffuckinggod this rox!!!!!

Proud to be an American

Happy Birthday USA, you old windbag!!!! It's been so easy to rip on this country for its behaviors over the past two years, okay two hundred years. Sometimes I feel like the two grumpy old guys from the Muppet Show, Statler and Waldorf, the way I criticize the way things are going, from the sidelines, and not getting more involved to make change.


Sure we've done some shitty things in the past (slavery and genocide come to mind) and King George II's policy of bullying and globalization is emabrassing and scary. But as far as empire and world powers go, we traditionally have acutally been a pretty responsible world leader, relative to the likes of Rome, Spain, and England. And best of all, we get to speak out.

And I guess that's one of my favorite about being an American: the right to dissent, protest, vote, and write in an effort to create change, all within the confines of the law. I guess I should take advantage of this luxury more.

And of course, let's not forget all the wealth we have here. As much as the liberal elite (and I am one of them, I assume) bitch about this country, the fact is this is by far the world's wealthiest nation. And no matter how liberal and enlightened you are, you probably take for granted the wealth you enjoy on a daily basis (I know I do). When I was living off of a cook's wages in rural Iowa, I was still probably one of the wealthiest people in the world.

Wealth aside, though, I LOVE the freedom of press in this country. This doesn't mean I accept Michael Powell's and the FCC's actions over the past year or the Republican dominance in the media. It means I don't take for granted the letters to the editor I can freely write or the annual check I give to Minnesota Public Radio. I can also go and visit all the websites I list as links in Blognation.

Speaking of MPR, Midday is by far and away my favorite show. If I could meet one person in journalism, it would the host Garry Eichten. I'd love to take him to Dulano's for a beer or three, get a little tipsy with him, and shoot the shit for an evening.

But I digress (as per usual). The topic of today's Midday was "What it means to be an American." It was neat to hear the perspective of recent immigrants who called in. And (as per usual) I realized what being an American means to me well after the show was over (maybe next year I can call in). So instead of telling Garry and his cult following, I will have to tell you.

To me, being an American is being a citizen. Take advantage of our freedom and wealth. It's so easy to sit on the left and act like Statler and Waldorf, and verbally crap on this country. But what does that accomplish? It's easy to hate this country for its McDonaldsization and foregin policy ( sorry Don--despite what you think, we are in a quagmire). But what is great about our country is, collectively, we have the tools for change. All we need is the motivation.

I think every year I will make a July 4th Resolution--a Citizen Resolution. What does it take to be a citizen? Live the platitude: "Think Globally. Act Locally." Get in touch with not only current events, but this nation's past. See the good and the bad we have done--and all the grey nuances in between. Don't just vote. Get behind the candidate you are going to vote for. These are all things I need to either do more of, or start doing. I'm not sure what my Inaugural Citizen's Resolution will be yet, but I'll have an answer before the weekend is over.

At work, one of my cornerstones of therapy when working with adult stutterers is to quit dwelling on the negative. In short, quit bitching and start acting. Maybe it's time I did the same as a citizen.

Happy Birthday everybody!!!!!!!

Home Improvements

I finally fixed my link to Emily's Reuben Sandwich blog, so you can access it from my site now (on the left, under Blognation). I also added some more links. The top half are blogs or websites of friends. Well, with one exception, I don't know the author of the World's Dullest Blog, ( Matt the Hatt sent me the link), but why does an abridged James Joyce come to mind? The home half of the links are websites I recommend. I really enjoy the Mark Fiore cartoons, but beware, they are very addicitve. More links to follow.

Cooking Microwave Popcorn in a Campfire

There is a Bloggod, and she is vengeful. I talk shit about the weather and BLAM! twelve hours later a lightning bolt takes out our cable for the cable modem. I brag about my immune system and ZAP! I'm sick for an entire week. So no more predictions, lest I bring the wrath of the Bloggod.

So now it's back to the olden days: blogging and surfing with a dial-up modem, heating up left-overs on the stove, Betamax movies, using a pay phone, beating a woman over the head with my club and dragging her into my cave...

I found at least one story worth checking out, even if these pages took 2340234 seconds to load. Salon.com has a pretty interesting article about Howard Dean and the success he's had with blogging and the internet in general. It was a little distressing to see that jackass Joe Liberman leading the Dems field and Dean only getting 6%, but it's early and I'm hopeful. I think once people hear Dean speak they'll be taken by him. He is Mr. Soundbite.

A friend of mine once said the way the common man and the left will take this country back is through the internet. if Dean gives the Kerrys and Liebermans a run for their money, it may happen sooner than we think!

Also check out Sr. Gabe Chavez' most recent blog. He has some great pictures in his post, along with a great story. It's all just so, uh, great.

Well that's it for now. Happy 4th everybody! I got my 1st paycheck today since Bush's tax cuts went through. My take home pay went up $10.00!!! Thanks King George II! I love seeing that gizanillion dollar tax cut trickle down to me $10 at a time! USA! USA! USA!